Rick Perry Is Mitt Romney's 'Black Swan'

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Conservatives Are Enamored With Everything They Hated About Mitt Romney

Act 1: The Republican establishment shuts out all viable candidates, and presents a crusty old liberal white man. Democrats present a sterling young liberal black man with enormous appeal. He is smart, patriotic, and promises a fundamental transformation to bring heaven on earth.

Act 2: The Republican establishment shuts out all viable candidates, again by appealing to religious bigotry, sexism, and racial stereotypes. They need another fall guy to prop up the Democrat hero, but how to do it? Take the best viable candidate and present the fall guy as a better version of him. For example, Romney built his state's economy; Perry built his state's economy better and during a depression. Romney stood up to big federal government; Perry threatened succession. Romney attacks Democrats ferociously; Perry attacks them maniacally.

But along with Romney's strengths come Romney's weaknesses in this black swan. Romney flip-flopped on some issues to become more conservative; Perry used to be Al Gore's campaign manager and supported Al Gore's radical liberalism. Romney has some worrisome aspects about his unorthodox faith; Perry believes the world is only 4,000 years old. Romney courted the Republican establishment out of necessity to get elected; Perry was coached by Karl Rove himself. Romney had an illegal alien working on his lawn; Perry tried building a super-highway to Mexico with billions in taxes. Romney sought to get everyone healthcare using a state mandate; Perry mandated every girl get a dangerous drug that turned out to be phony.

The liberal New York Times successfully convinces the voting audience that the Black Swan is actually dominant over the other candidates, that all of Romney's weaknesses are Perry's strengths. But what is actually the difference between the two men? Why is one celebrated and the other scorned? The newspapers, TV channels, and blogs inexplicably take him all the way to the final elections.

Act 3: The Black Swan turns out to be no match against the Democrat, despite the Democrat being wounded and having all odds against him. He comes back at the climax and the audience realizes he possessed all those heroic traits after all. Obama gets his full 8 years and we start a new show in 2016 with the roles switched by party.

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